Maria (ria_kukalaka) wrote,

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House and other random stuff

Wilson: He's wrong.
House: Foreman is wrong? The neurologist is wrong? About a neurological problem?

Foreman: Okay why are we on this case? Just because Wilson asked?
House: Do we need a better reason? [insert mad squee here!!!]

House *smelling the vomit on patient’s shirt*: Vomit, still moist. *pushes it towards Chase* What do you think, couple of days old?
Chase: urgh, trying to make me sick?
House: Yeah, and here’s the big finish *tastes it* salty. Chemical imbalance.

Cuddy: You tried to steal someone else’s test?
Foreman: Dr. Terharg is a plastic surgeon. The woman was getting a six-month check-up on a chin implant.
Cuddy: I can’t believe you authorized this.
House: Really? Sounds exactly like something I’d do.

Cuddy: She can’t have an MRI. The CT scan shows she has a surgical pin in her arm, the MRI magnet would have ripped it out of her body. You like the Alien movies?

Foreman: That's why you insisted on the MRI? So you could remove the surgical pin from her arm?
House: You didn't think I was going to do it to save your sorry ass, did you?

Cuddy *in clinic waiting room*: Shelley Diamond?
Shelley: Yes?
Cuddy: Dr. House is ready to see you now.
Shelley: The little ones are licking each other again, and Harry’s got a seeping wart on his extra toe. What room should we go to?
House *fake sneeze*: You know, I think I might be coming down with something. Hate to give it to you guys. Sorry.
Cuddy: Oh yeah. Just walk out, like I’m not going to do anything.
House: Bye-bye.

House: Bad guy’s Mr. Fury, fairly generic, no special skills, but apparently very well organized. Think you work hard, try ruling the universe.

House: I hate to cite a cliché, but . . . Dad on the streets?
Foreman: Dad's with Mom.
House: They're both on the streets?

House: Your turn. You gonna tell me why this case?
Wilson: She’s my new girlfriend, I’m having a tattoo designed, I was hoping you could find out her name.
House: So she’s just another sick person the kindly Dr. Wilson has made sure doesn’t get lost in the big ugly system.
Wilson: Yes, I forgot, I need a reason to give a crap.
House: You’re giving two craps.
Wilson: The metric system always confuses me.

Wilson: You really don’t need to know everything about everybody.
House: I don’t need to watch the OC, but it makes me happy.
Wilson: Yeah, delirious. What’s the other file?
House: Wilson, James. Boy wonder oncologist. You know him?
Wilson: You know, in some cultures, it’s considered almost rude for one friend to spy on another. Of course, in Swedish, the word friend can also be translated as ‘limping twerp’.
*House’s pager starts to beep*
Wilson: Did your pager really just go off, or are you ditching the conversation?
House: Why can’t both be true?

House: Unless its not cancer.
Chase: You’re joking.
House: Hard not to. Nothing funnier than cancer.

Wilson: The ‘something else’ is going to melt her brain.
House: Poach. Better metaphor.
Chase: A fever that high has to be bacterial.
Wilson: Maybe the bowel got nicked in the biopsy.
Foreman: I did the biopsy - no nick. She could have picked up an infection on the streets.
Wilson: Well, she didn’t have a fever when I admitted her!
Cameron: The Prozac we’ve given her could have triggered Serotonin Syndrome, which would explain the fever.
Wilson: No! Jefferson put her on Prozac, and it wasn’t a problem.
Foreman: She probably never took it! Most likely they saw her one time and dumped her out of the ER with a script.
Wilson: Oh, just like you were going to do!
House: Okay you two, grab some scalpels and settle this like doctors.

Med student: You're reading a comic book.
House: And you're calling attention to your bosom by wearing a low-cut top. Oh, I'm sorry – I thought we were having a ‘state the obvious’ contest. I'm competitive by nature.
Med student 2: I thought you were supposed to be listening to our patient histories?
House: No, I'm supposed to be teaching you. If I can do that without listening to you, more power to me.

House: This guy’s supposed to have universal power over all of gravity, how come his hair won’t stay down? That’s just stupid.

Med student: What’s wrong with her?
House: That would be telling. Oooh, I am just too nice. *drops huge medical textbook* It starts with C.

House: Wrong coat. The cape’s in the closet, I had it cleaned.
Foreman: Funny.

House (to Foreman): You’ve been reading. My how you’ve changed.

Policeman: Read the report. I found her lying on the grass.
House: You should read my reports. I make up stuff all the time. What really happened?
Policeman: Oh, since it’s you . . . I found her *lying* on the *grass*.
House: Wow. That is a great looking gun.
Policeman: It’s not a gun. It’s a taser.
House: It’s so cool looking. What does it do? Fire about 60,000 volts? At least, that’s what it would take to jack someone’s heart up to 150s.
Policeman: Okay. Okay. Let’s just say I tell you what happened. This stays between you and me, right? I found her. Lying. On the. Grass.
House: Fine. Don’t tell me. Tell my friend, Ben Franklin. *policeman stares* I watch a lot of cop shows.
[I love this, a combination of House’s ability to read people and his firm belief that “Everybody Lies” even when they repeatedly say the same thing. Love that he’s right. Not that I’ve ever seen him not be right. :D]

Wilson: Oh. You followed me?
House: No. You were wearing rain boots today, but you were parked in the underground garage, so the only reason you’d need boots was if you were hitting the streets . . . . I followed you.
Wilson: Didn’t we have a conversation about friendship?
House: Yeah. I had some follow up questions. [Again with the mad squee :D]

Oh i also played around with the layout a bit today. Okay not much, cos designing one of my own seemed like so much hassle but i did change the colours around on one of the standard ones (*is proud* :D). Am thinking on doing a header at some point but a) can't decide what to have and b)am pretty sure wouldn't have the technical capability to do it even if i could choose so.... :D Oh and i found some more pics for my mood theme, only another 50 or so to go now. Should be finished sometime this decade :D
Tags: house quotes
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