And it couldn't have been better timed, my local cinema is about to drop Serenity and i was getting all upset and wistful over it. But now i have the script (and topless Simon) so excited again!
Operative: You know in certain older civilised cultures, when men failed as entirely as you have, they would throw themselves on their swords.
Doctor Mathias: Well, unfortunately I forgot to bring a sword to -
(The Operative pulls out his own sword.)
Mal: What was that?
Wash: Whoa! Did you just see that--
Mal: Was that the primary buffer panel?
Wash: It did seem to resemble--
Mal: Did the primary buffer panel just fall off of my gorram ship for no apparent reason?
Wash: Looks like.
Mal: I thought Kaylee checked our entry couplings? I have a very clear memory of it--
Wash: Yeah well if she doesn't give us some extra flow from the engine room to offset the burnthrough this landing is gonna get pretty interesting.
Mal: Define "interesting."
Wash: "Oh god, oh god, we're all gonna die?"
Mal: This is the captain. There's a little problem with out entry sequence; we may experience slight turbulence and then explode. (to Wash) Can you shave the vector--
Wash: I'm doing it! It's not enough. (hits comm) Kaylee!
Mal: Just get us on the ground!
Wash: That part'll happen, pretty definitely.
Jayne: We're gonna explode? I don't wanna explode.
Mal: Jayne, how many weapons you plan on bringing? You only got the two arms.
Jayne: I just get exciteable as to choice, like to have my options open.
Mal: I don't plan on any shooting taking place during this job.
Jayne: Well, what you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similiar.
Mal: No grenades. (Jayne groans) No grenades.
Mal: Bit of a rockety ride. Nothing to worry about.
Simon: I'm not worried.
Mal: Fear is nothing to be ashamed of, Doc.
Simon: This isn't fear. This is anger.
Mal: Well it's kinda hard to tell the one from t'other, face like yours.
Simon: Now, River, you stay behind the others. If there's fighting, you drop to the floor or run away. It's okay to leave them to die.
Mal: Doctor, I'm taking your sister under my protection here. If anything happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you I will get very choked up. Honestly, there could be tears.
(The code opens a tiny wall safe. Bundles of bills, some scattered coin. Unimpressive.)
Zoe: At last. We can retire and give up this life of crime.
Mal: Listen up! We are coming down to empty that vault!
Guard (O.S.): You have to give me your authorization password!
(Jayne impatiently fires a burst of machine-gun fire down into the hole)
(Mal talks to the guard holding his gun at him)
Mal: Leg's good, it'll bleed plenty and we avoid any necessary organs...
Guard: I was thinking more of a graze...
Mal: Well you don't want it to look like you just gave up...
Guard: No, I get that...
Mal: Every heist, he's gotta start yelling my name -
Jayne: I won't get et! You shoot me if they take me!
(Mal steadies himself and takes aim, seemingly at Jayne - )
Jayne: Well don't shoot me first!
River: I swallowed a bug.
(Kaylee runs in to see how everybody is. She goes to Simon.)
Kaylee: Are you okay?
Mal: Is he okay!?!
Simon: "One simple job! She'll be fine!"
Mal: She IS fine! Except for bein' still crazy, she the picture of health!
Kaylee: Goin' on a year now I ain't have nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!
Mal: Oh god! I can't know that!
Jayne: I could stand to hear a little more...
Wash: Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a ninety pound girl. 'Cause I don't think that's ever getting old.
Simon: A phrase that's encoded in her brain, that makes her fall asleep. If I speak the words, "Eta -
Jayne (jumping back): Well don't say it!
Zoe: It only works on her, Jayne.
Jayne: Oh. Well, now i know that.
Simon: I thought she was getting better.
Jayne: And I thought they were gettin' off! Didn't we have an intricate plan how they was gonna be not here anymore?
Kaylee: We couldn't leave them now...!
Jayne: No, now that she's a ...killer woman we ought to be bringin' 'em tea and dumplings!
Wash: Can I make a suggestion that doesn't involve violence, or is this the wrong crowd?
Mr Universe: Zoe, you sultry minx, stop falling in love with me. You're just gonna embarrass yourself. I have a commitment - to my Lovebot, it was a very beautiful ceremony, Lenore wrote her own vows, I cried, like a baby, a hunger, angry baby.
Book: You got a plan?
Mal: Hiding ain't a plan?
Book: I wasn't born a Shepherd, Mal.
Mal: Have to tell me about that sometime.
Book: No I don't.
Zoe: So, trap?
Zoe: We goin' in?
Mal: It ain't but a few hours out...
Wash: Yeah, but, remember the part where it's a trap?
Mal: If that's the case, then Inara's already caught in it. She wouldn't set us up willing. Might be we got a shot at seeing who's turning these wheels. We go in.
Kaylee: How can you be sure Inara don't just wanna see you? Sometimes people have feelings -- I'm referring here to people...
Mal: Y'all were watching, I take it.
Mal: You see us fight?
Mal: Remember, if anything happens to me, or you don't hear from me within the hour... you take this ship and you come and rescue me.
Zoe: What? And risk my ship?
Mal: Dear Buddha, please send me a pony, and a plastic rocket, and--
Inara: Mal! What are you doing here?
Mal: You invited me.
Inara: I never thought for a second you'd be stupid enough to come!
Mal: Well that makes you kind of a tease, doesn't it?
Operative: I have to say, I'm impressed that you would come for her yourself. And that you would make it this far, in that outfit.
Mal: Way I remember it, albatross was a ship's good luck... til some idiot killed it. (to Inara) Yes, I've read a poem. Try not to faint.
Mal: You wanna run this ship?
Mal: Well you can't!
Jayne: No trouble now, little crazy person...we're going for a nice shuttle ride -
Mal: I've staked my crew's life on the theory that you're a person, actual and whole, and if I'm wrong you best shoot me now.
(River cocks the gun)
Or we could talk some more...
River: I had to show them. I didn't know if you were going to make me sleep.
Simon: You could've asked...
Mal: Shepherd...Don't move.
Book: Won't go far.
Mal: Shouldn't've been you. They should've hit me.
Book: That crossed my mind.
Mal: You did what's right.
Book: Coming from you, that means... almost nothing.
Book: Can't... order me around, boy. I'm not one of your crew.
Mal: Yes you are.
River: Please God make me a stone...
Jayne: She's starting to damage my calm.
Mr Universe: It's no problem! Bring it on, bring it on! From here to the eyes and ears of the 'verse, that's my motto, or it might be if I start having a motto.
Operative: Target the Reavers! Target the Reavers! Target everyone! Somebody fire!
Wash: I am a leaf on the wind, watch how I soar.
Wash: (panicky) It's okay! I am a leaf on the wind!
Mal: (also panicky) What does that mean?
Zoe: You really think any of us are gonna get through this.
Jayne: I might...
Lovebot: Guy killed me, Mal. He killed me with a sword. How weird is that?
Simon: My one true regret in all this is never being with you.
Kaylee: With me? You mean to say, as, sex?
Simon: (smiles) I mean to say.
Kaylee: Hell with this. I'm gonna live.
Operative: You really believe that?
Mal: I do.
Operative: You willing to die for that belief?
Mal: I am. (Mal shoots) Of course, that ain't exactly plan A...
Operative: You know what your sin is, Malcolm?
Mal: Aw hell, I'm a fan of all seven.
River: I do. But I like to hear you say it.
Mal: Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells you that she's hurting 'fore she keens. Makes her a home.
(There is a spark and a piece of paneling pops off, whips at camera, blacking out the frame.)
Mal (O.S.): What was that?
There's a small chance i may have gotten a little carried away...