SGA - I could do this all day, I'm limiting myself ;)
Beckett: How come I never make friends like that?
McKay: You need to get out more.
Beckett: We're in another galaxy. How much more out can you get?
Weir: I'm still trying to understand, how you thought it was a good idea to test this device by having someone throw you off a balcony.
McKay: Oh, believe me that's not the first thing we tried.
Sheppard: I shot him. In the leg.
McKay: I'm invulnerable.
Weir: Aren't you the one who's always spouting off about how proper and careful scientific procedure must be adhered to?
Hide and Seek
Rodney: I can't imagine it'd be any worse than their original homeworld.
Bates: That could just be failure of imagination on your part.
Rodney: If only we had a magical tool that could slow down time. I foolishly left mine on Earth, did you bring yours?
Radek: You know, you're not pleasant when you're like this, McKay.
Rodney: I'm always like this.
Radek: My point exactly.
The Storm (Awwwww Snark is love!)
Sheppard: Ease up on the controls a little.
McKay: I’m fine.
Sheppard: You’re going to snap the damn things off ease up.
McKay: I’m just seeing what this baby can do.
Abrams: Did you just say this baby?
McKay: That’s perfectly appropriate space pilot parlance.
Sheppard: Try to fly the baby in a straight line.
McKay: I’m flying in a straight line.
Sheppard: Not so much.
McKay: Well in space all motion is relative.
The Defiant One
Teyla: You have not been practicing.
Sheppard: Yes I have.
Teyla: If this was really a fight...
Sheppard: If this was really a fight, I would have shot you by now.
McKay: Okay . . . I should be dead now.
Beckett: Don't take this the wrong way, but...
Allina: It doesn’t look much like a map...I guess I was wrong.
McKay: Possibly. Although, just cause you...you thought it was a map. It doesn’t make your initial assumption bad...or incorrent. Incorrect yes...But...It was a good guess.
Allina: I’m sorry.
McKay: You’re very, very smart...And uh...And attractive and what not and ummm, ah...You know... When things aren’t going through... When things don’t...You know
The Brotherhood (*giggles*)
Beckett: What shall I say?
Ford: Uh, uh, "I miss you?" "I wish you were here?"
Beckett: I wish who was here?
Ford: I don't know. Who do you wish was here?
Beckett: Nobody! I wish I wasn't bloody here!
Letters from Pegasus
Beckett: And if there's one thing I've discovered about we Earthlings, we're a scrappy bunch. I wouldn't be surprised if I bring back...
Ford: Doc, you can't say "Earthlings"! Your mother doesn't have security clearance.
Beckett: She knows I'm from Earth, son. It's not a bloody secret!
Ford: Oh, right.
Letters from Pegasus
Kavanagh: We can't possibly consider staying and fighting.
Sheppard: I disagree. I think it's entirely within the realm of possibility.
Kavanagh: There are tens of thousands of life-sucking aliens in highly advanced spaceships on their way here to destroy us, and we have -- what? -- two hundred people, most of whom are scientists who've never even fired a gun before.
McKay: Shockingly, first time ever I've found myself having to agree with Kavanagh.
Sheppard: All I'm saying is, let's not give up -- just yet.
McKay: Now what was that we were supposed to all remember? It was something important ... uh, oh yes, that's right -- the Alamo!
McKay: I've got something here.
McKay: I dunno. I've got a little...
Ford: You've got a little what? Hey, McKay, you've got a little what?! What? Oh, it's okay when you guys make fun of me!
The Gift (Oh Ford! *g*)
Tony: Why does the woman thing come up when a ship is sinking or there's only one bedroom with a bath?
Gibbs: This reminds me of your apartment, Dinozzo. Except for the minty fresh smell of urine.
Tony: I have a maid now.
Gibbs: You can afford a maid on your salary?
Tony: It's amazing what you can do when you don't have to pay three alimonies.
One Shot, One kill
Tony: McGee! Are you nuts?
Tony: You're at Gibbs's desk using his computer, that's like touching...the Ark of the Covenant.
(a few minuts later)
Gibbs(pats McGee): Good job, McGee!
Tony: He got a pat on his back, I get a smack on my head
Fornell: But if you screw me on this
Gibbs: I promise, I'll consider it an unexpected bonus.
Kate: Don't let him intimmidate you McGee. That's my job today.
See No Evil
Kate: McGee can't you tell when somebody's kidding with you?
McGee: I used to and then I met you guys
See No Evil
Gibbs: Doctor Mallard's a man of few words.
Gibbs: You got him?
Abby: Are you honestly asking me that?
Gibbs: No Abs. I called to flirt.
Henry: Only you didn't tell me I had to speak Japanese to order.
Gibbs: You don't order, you eat what you're served, with a smile. Just like being married.
Call of Silence
Tony: Well you're walking a slippery slope there
Probalicious. Before you know it you're going to be taking
bubble baths with clogs on.
McGee: What is wrong with bubble baths?
Gibbs: You expecting an 'Atta Boy'?
Tony: I thought it would be nice
Gibbs: (stroking Tony's head) Atta Boy
Ziva: What is that, a weapons Acronym?
Tony: No, What Would Gibbs Do.
Jackie: I'm in my dressing gown.
The Doctor: Yes, you are.
Jackie: There's a strange man in my bedroom.
The Doctor: Yes, there is.
Jackie: Well, anything could happen.
The Doctor: Ah... No!
Rose: If you're an alien, then how comes you sound like you're from the North?
The Doctor: Lots of planets have a North!
The Doctor: Of course I remember your name, wasn't it Ricky?
Aliens of London
Rose: She slapped you.
The Doctor: Nine hundred years of time and space, and I've never been slapped by someone's mother.
Rose: Your face...
The Doctor: It hurt!
Rose: You're so gay!
Aliens of London
Mickey: I bet you don't even remember my name.
The Doctor: It's Ricky.
Mickey: It's Mickey.
The Doctor: No, it's Ricky.
Mickey: I think I know my own name.
The Doctor: You think you know your own name? How stupid are you?
Aliens of London
The Doctor (to baby!Rose): Now, Rose... You're not gonna bring about the end of the world, are you?
The Doctor: Don't drop the banana!
Capt. Jack: Why not?!
The Doctor: Good source of potassium!
The Doctor Dances
Capt. Jack: Who has a sonic screwdriver?
The Doctor: I do!
Capt. Jack: Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, 'Ooo, this could be a little more sonic?'
The Doctor: What, you've never been bored? Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?
The Doctor Dances
The Doctor: Well, it's got to find us first. C'mon, we're not done yet. Assets! Assets!
Capt. Jack: Well, I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves -- well, the assets conversation went in a flash, didn't it?
The Doctor Dances
Rose: Are the words "distract the guard" heading in my general direction?
Capt. Jack: I don't think that's such a good idea.
Rose: Don't worry, I can handle it.
Capt. Jack: I've gotten to know Algie quite well since I've been here. Trust me, you're not his type. I'll distract him. Don't wait up.
The Doctor: Don't worry, he's a 51st-century guy. He's just a little more flexible when it comes to... 'dancing'.
The Doctor Dances (Yes, this is one of my favourite episodes *g*)
Jack: Probably wondering what four people were doing in a small box.
Trin-E: Just stand still and let the Defabricator work its magic.
Jack: What's a Defabricator?
[Jack's clothes are disintegrated.]
Jack: Okay, Defabricator. Does exactly what it says on the tin. Am I naked in front of millions of viewers?
Jack: Ladies, your viewing figures just went up.
Cultin: So Mulder, what do you think? Does this look like the work of little green men?
Cultin: Excuse me?
Mulder: Grey. You said green men. The reticulant skin tone is actually grey. They're notorious for there extraction of terrestrial human livers. Due to iron depletion in the Reticulan galaxy.
Cultin: You can't be serious?
Mulder: Do you have any idea what liver and onions go for in Reticula?
Mulder: You have to admit, that was exciting. Mission Control and all.
Scully: Yeah, ranks right up there with getting a pony and learning to braid my own hair.
Langly: That’s why we like you Mulder. Your ideas are even weirder than ours.
Men in Black 1: Your scientists have yet to discover how neural networks create self-consciousness, let alone how the human brain processes two dimensional retinal images into the three dimensional phenomenon known as perception. yet you somehow brazenly declare that ‘seeing is believing’
Jose Chung's From Outer Space
Glen Chao: I find it hard to argue with two thousand years of Chinese belief, the stuff my parents and grandparents believe in. But the truth is I’m more haunted by the size of my mortage payments.
Mulder: I would never lie. I willfully participate in a campaign of misinformation.
Mulder: Hey, Scully, do you believe in the afterlife?
Scully: I'd settle for a life in this one.
Mulder: Mulder: Since I am unfamiliar with any such incident sir, no how would I know that?
Skinner: Knock it off!
Mulder: How does it feel? Constant denial of eveything, questions answered with a question.
Melissa: Why’s it so dark in here?
Mulder: Because the lights are off.
Mulder: You know for a holyman, you’ve got quite a knack for pissing people off.
Scully: I mean, there's nothing odd about... (toads fall from the sky)
Mulder: So, lunch?
Scully: Mulder, toads just fell from the sky!
Mulder: Guess their parachutes didn't open. What did you say about this place not feeling odd?
Die Hand Die Verletz
Dr. Blockhead (about Mulder): Can you imagine looking like him for the rest of your life.
Scully: Mulder if you had to do without a cell phone for two minutes you'd lapse into catatonic schizophrenia.
Skinner (about Scully): She says she's fine.
Mulder: She's in trouble.
Scully (to Smoking Man): I'm seeing a whole new side to you. I used to think you were just a cold blooded killer but you're a pop pyschologist too!
Smoking Man: Life is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift, that no one ever asks for. Unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So you’re stuck with this undefinable whipped mint crap, which you mindlessly wolf down once there’s nothing else left. Sure, once in a while, there’s a Peanut Buttercup, an English toffee, but it’s gone too fast and the taste is too fleeting. You end up with nothing but broken bits and teeth shattering nuts, which if you’re desperate enough to eat, all you’ve got left is an empty paper box filled with useless brown paper wrappers.
Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man
Scully: I was thinking about this gift you gave me for my birthday [the Apollo 11 Key Chain]. You never got to tell me why you gave it to me. Or what it means. But I think I know. I think you know that there are extraordinary men and women, and extraordinary moments when history leaps forward on the backs of these indiviuals. That what can be imagined can be achieved. That you must dare to dream, but that there’s no substitute for preserverance and hard work. And teamwork. Because no one can get there alone. And that while we commerate the greatness of these events and the indiviuals who achieve them, we can not forget the sacrifice of those who make these achievements and leaps possible.
Mulder: I just thought it was a pretty cool key chain.
Mulder: You saved the world, Scully.
Scully: Yeah... You're right. I did.
Frohike: What kind of drugs is he on?
Langly: I want some.
Mulder: I love you.
Scully: Oh, brother...
FBI Agent: Agent Doggett, I didn't see you here in the dark.
Doggett: I have to say, I'm in the dark pretty much most of my time on the X-Files.
Mulder: Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful!